i guess i'm here because i'm tired of always keeping an exhibition-blog. sometimes it's good to have a place to turn to.

and i'm seriously annoyed with all the talking that's going on. maybe to them it doesn't matter how an occasional gossip can be, maybe it's fun when they're rowing in their boats and there's nothing else to talk about. i just don't know why they have nothing better to do than to spread it and to talk about it like nothing's wrong, and things just keep blowing bigger and bigger without getting better.

after hearing it from j i've realised that i should just keep my distance, which i did, but even people like s came along and added a few lines. it's not funny and i have no idea why they keep doing it. there's nothing going on to show anything.

i know i made a mistake, and right now i have to wait it out. and i wish they will stop adding fuel to fire, because no matter what it hurts to have people talking about you like that.

i know why i mind so much, because deep down i wanted that place. i know that x will definitely definitely get it, and right now it sucks because i cannot prove to them that i deserve a place. all this nonsense just because of a mistake and a million gossips from then on.

right now i shall just train my hardest not to let c down. with the rest of the team coming in we need to work harder than ever to prove to jl that we deserve a place somewhere. i'm gonna focus on that and studies. have been studying the past 2 days.
9:35 PM